Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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