I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
