If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i now understand why vodka
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
