It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
