I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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