Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
