I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
