about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize