Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
