honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
