this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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