I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
