writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize