i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
