Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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