I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
