So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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