I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We left the knife in your bed.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Randomize
