Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
