It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
