dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
