just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
