i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
