You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
