WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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