Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
