You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
