kristin has been a bad kristin
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
