My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
