He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
