anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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