then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
