We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
