Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
