NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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