Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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