Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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