come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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