His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
