There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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