Ambien. No doubt about it.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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