Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
