1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he thought i was a dude.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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