There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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