Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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