You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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