wanna go halves on a baby?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
