Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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