If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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