I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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