So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
