It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
