Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
