(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I had to cum in my sink.
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