i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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