Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
