..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I'm really busy with my period
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