I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Terrible idea I love it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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