Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize