I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
