Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize