Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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