the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
