so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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