i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
