We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
