his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
