Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's rum buckets o'clock
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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