Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Randomize
