The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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