i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize