you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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