Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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