A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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