He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
how drunk are you?
Several
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
