He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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