she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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