Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
