so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i now understand why vodka
The Olympian is in my bed
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
