Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
