don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
