i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
