One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
