WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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