Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my being single is dangerous.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
