Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I love you. Go after that dick
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
