you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
